They just don't fit anymore...

Sitting with this group of women who played an important role in my life as a mother, I realize that something isn't right. The conversation is just as light as it had always been. Everyone takes their turn exchanging all the same pleasant banter about kids and husbands and life in general. Some ribs are joshed and dates are scheduled, but I feel an ache inside. I don't belong here anymore.

Our group formed when each of us needed to ease the loneliness of being a stay-at-home parent. We'd meet regularly to give our first-borns time to socialize as we chatted about discipline techniques and growth curves. These women helped form me as the parent I am now and I've lost the connection. The pain inside me is choking me as I politely make my escape for what may be the last time.

Outgrowing friendships is a normal part of growing up, but is always hard. It happens to everyone during periods of change, like graduating from college or becoming a parent, but I've always resisted. I resist and I resist, until the other party has to beat me over the head with our lack of kinship. This time is different.

See friendships are like pants. Some fit perfectly, always flattering you and making you feel like a million bucks. You yearn for fifty pairs of the exact same pant, but you know that it would make it less special, because you need different pants for different occasions. Other pairs are just okay. Maybe your rear seems a tad large in them or there's some mysterious seam that rubs you raw, but you can never put your finger on the problem. Sometimes you pull your favorite pair--a pair you've had forever--out of the drawer and you realize that it just doesn't fit anymore. You can toss them back and hope that they'll fit better next time, but it's better to mourn the loss and pass them on.