For as many truly awful kid shows on TV--Teletubbies, anyone?--it is such a joy to find one that I love as much as my kids do. Actually, more. They probably wouldn't be watching it if I didn't get so excited about it. Even if my kids didn't like Word Girl, I'd probably be watching it anyway. I am just that much of a nerd. Words and a cool female super hero with witty dialog. What could be better?
Check this out:
Go Capt. Huggyface! I just love watching that monkey dance!
Friday, March 28, 2008
Thursday, March 27, 2008
Just what is the meaning behind Lost?
I count Lost as one of my favorite shows, even though it can be maddening. Exactly how can each hour episode have so much action, but reveal so little?
I happened across this post with a theory that seems plausible, very plausible. Almost as if the poster, who did it anonymously through a friend, was in on something from the writers. Hmmm. Conspiracy?
(I just read another person's similar Lost theory here. Click on "Read Theory" to expand the text)
I happened across this post with a theory that seems plausible, very plausible. Almost as if the poster, who did it anonymously through a friend, was in on something from the writers. Hmmm. Conspiracy?
(I just read another person's similar Lost theory here. Click on "Read Theory" to expand the text)
Wednesday, March 26, 2008
Household Organization
I just found this site called Organized Home, dedicated to tips and ideas to organize your home. I'm following the instructions for making a Household Notebook, which I'll probably be able to do, but will likely lose it often. Losing my list is my ongoing barrier to an organized life. I'm still looking for the tip to solve that problem.
Tuesday, March 25, 2008
An Extra Helping of Guilt
Just in case you didn't feel enough mom guilt over time spent with your children. Check out this article on the amount of time moms spend with their first born children.
Naptime fun
When your kids are asleep or just zoned out in from of the tube, here are some fun diversions--
Offbeat stories at digg
Fark
Offbeat stories at digg
Fark
Beyond the Mother Role
I am occasionally called by a market research company to be screened for focus groups or surveys regarding household products. Usually these events pay some cash ($50 or more) for your thoughts, so it is usually worth it. So far, I've participated in a diaper focus group, a radio station listening survey and what amounted to be a poster presentation for a take-out pizza company, but I've been screened for many more which I didn't qualify for.
Sometimes it's pretty clear which question boots you out of the eligible group, like: "How often to you, personally, wash and wax your car? A) 3 times a week B) 7 times a week C) Never. Clearly, the right answer is not "C", which would be my answer. It's especially clear if this question follows normal boring questions, like demographics (age, job, number of children, etc) or "Do you ever eat?"
More often it is less clear why I am not eligible. They could have enough stay at home moms in their early thirties or responders from my zip code. Sometimes I suspect it is because I do not answer this question correctly:
Please select the option that you most identify with:
A) I am a mom first and foremost. Nothing is too good for my kids. I will spend every last dollar in my pocket buying stupid crap my kids don't need, but that I need to buy for them either because I can't say no or because I feel so guilty that I have to compensate with material items. Brands matter to me, because inferior products make me question my self worth. My kids are brats and I am a snob.
B) My kids are the center of my universe. Every breathing moment is spent catering to their needs. Though I am conscious of my budget, I will spend money if it reinforces my life's focus--my kids. My kids are brats and I am a doormat.
C) I make a budget and stick to it. I work my fingers to the bones to provide my kids with the basic necessities of life. I am exhausted, but my kids are well-cared for.
I'm exaggerating of course, but these are not too far off from the intent of the classifications from these surveys. I have to wonder about the marketing people behind these questions. But I also have to wonder about the women self-selecting these groups. Notice that there is no None of the Above option, so to continue, you have to place yourself in one of these awful categories. I know lots of moms--amazing women with excellent strengths and a multitude of interests beyond their progeny and none that I would say their only virtue was motherhood.
As a mother, I love my children and revel in their growth, but I am much more than a mother and not solely defined by my motherhood or the singular relationship of my contribution to the next generation. I pity anyone who does define themselves only as a mother--what about wife, daughter, profession, neighbor, or friend.
We were people before our children and we'll have to have something to return to once our children leave the nest. I believe that I have much more to offer the world than my ability to foster growth in my womb and rear my children. Hence my rejection from the marketing surveys.
Sometimes it's pretty clear which question boots you out of the eligible group, like: "How often to you, personally, wash and wax your car? A) 3 times a week B) 7 times a week C) Never. Clearly, the right answer is not "C", which would be my answer. It's especially clear if this question follows normal boring questions, like demographics (age, job, number of children, etc) or "Do you ever eat?"
More often it is less clear why I am not eligible. They could have enough stay at home moms in their early thirties or responders from my zip code. Sometimes I suspect it is because I do not answer this question correctly:
Please select the option that you most identify with:
A) I am a mom first and foremost. Nothing is too good for my kids. I will spend every last dollar in my pocket buying stupid crap my kids don't need, but that I need to buy for them either because I can't say no or because I feel so guilty that I have to compensate with material items. Brands matter to me, because inferior products make me question my self worth. My kids are brats and I am a snob.
B) My kids are the center of my universe. Every breathing moment is spent catering to their needs. Though I am conscious of my budget, I will spend money if it reinforces my life's focus--my kids. My kids are brats and I am a doormat.
C) I make a budget and stick to it. I work my fingers to the bones to provide my kids with the basic necessities of life. I am exhausted, but my kids are well-cared for.
I'm exaggerating of course, but these are not too far off from the intent of the classifications from these surveys. I have to wonder about the marketing people behind these questions. But I also have to wonder about the women self-selecting these groups. Notice that there is no None of the Above option, so to continue, you have to place yourself in one of these awful categories. I know lots of moms--amazing women with excellent strengths and a multitude of interests beyond their progeny and none that I would say their only virtue was motherhood.
As a mother, I love my children and revel in their growth, but I am much more than a mother and not solely defined by my motherhood or the singular relationship of my contribution to the next generation. I pity anyone who does define themselves only as a mother--what about wife, daughter, profession, neighbor, or friend.
We were people before our children and we'll have to have something to return to once our children leave the nest. I believe that I have much more to offer the world than my ability to foster growth in my womb and rear my children. Hence my rejection from the marketing surveys.
Tuesday, March 18, 2008
Why I didn't take my husband's last name.
I kept my maiden name. I admit it and freely shout it from the mountains. Most people are too polite to ask, though they have questions. My hubby's surname is not so bad, but it didn't feel like it belonged to me, and there are already five Carols with his last name just in his small town. Heck, I don't even pronounce it right.
Here are my personal reasons for keeping my maiden name--
1) Pride--it's been my last name for my whole life. I kinda like it. It kinda suits me. I love my family and like being connected with them. There aren't many Divishes around--though there seem to be more each year.
2) Women's Rights--Not that I'm waging a battle against men, since they're nice to have around, especially my husband. I like having him around--just one of the reasons why I married the guy. But I like making my small stance against male ownership of women--even though that's basically in the past.
3) Uniqueness--did I mention there aren't as many of us?
4) Privacy-- Fairly ironic, as I'm posting this for all to see, but there are times I am able to tell where someone knows me from based on what they call me. Other times, I pretend that my hubby's connections won't know recognize me with my super-secret maiden name.
Now that I've made this decision (one that my hubby supports, since the kids share his name), there are some drawbacks to it.
1) Kids-Since my kids don't have the same last name as I do, schools and doctors have trouble connecting parent and child, or wonder if I am their biological mother.
2) Correspondence--Summing up the family, as in "The Sullivan Family", can be difficult. I don't mind if someone else does it, but experience cognitive dissonance if I do it myself, like I'm telling people that it's okay to pretend that I didn't keep the Divish name.
3) Marital status--Most people know that my husband and I are legally married, but people who don't know us well or are friends of friends wonder. I don't blame them, but always wear my wedding ring for those who might need to see the proof.
4) In-laws--My in-laws are wonderful people. Very thoughtful and kind. I would never want to offend them by disparaging their surname. Though they have never mentioned the issue, I don't know if my choice hurt them.
Here are my personal reasons for keeping my maiden name--
1) Pride--it's been my last name for my whole life. I kinda like it. It kinda suits me. I love my family and like being connected with them. There aren't many Divishes around--though there seem to be more each year.
2) Women's Rights--Not that I'm waging a battle against men, since they're nice to have around, especially my husband. I like having him around--just one of the reasons why I married the guy. But I like making my small stance against male ownership of women--even though that's basically in the past.
3) Uniqueness--did I mention there aren't as many of us?
4) Privacy-- Fairly ironic, as I'm posting this for all to see, but there are times I am able to tell where someone knows me from based on what they call me. Other times, I pretend that my hubby's connections won't know recognize me with my super-secret maiden name.
Now that I've made this decision (one that my hubby supports, since the kids share his name), there are some drawbacks to it.
1) Kids-Since my kids don't have the same last name as I do, schools and doctors have trouble connecting parent and child, or wonder if I am their biological mother.
2) Correspondence--Summing up the family, as in "The Sullivan Family", can be difficult. I don't mind if someone else does it, but experience cognitive dissonance if I do it myself, like I'm telling people that it's okay to pretend that I didn't keep the Divish name.
3) Marital status--Most people know that my husband and I are legally married, but people who don't know us well or are friends of friends wonder. I don't blame them, but always wear my wedding ring for those who might need to see the proof.
4) In-laws--My in-laws are wonderful people. Very thoughtful and kind. I would never want to offend them by disparaging their surname. Though they have never mentioned the issue, I don't know if my choice hurt them.
Excuse Me, Ma'am
Are you a Miss or a Ma'am?
When I worked in a grocery store, part of being a cashier was being polite to customers. Mostly this was the easiest part of the job, but the question of which term, "miss" or "ma'am", would come up almost daily. Some women would laugh and say that being called "ma'am" makes them look around for their mother or even worse, feel that they are too old for shopping without a walker.
Of course, I didn't mean to call them old, but in my head the rule was simple--"Miss" means an unmarried woman and "ma'am" is a married one. It corresponds to the titles, Miss and Mrs. That they would take offense to something so simple and mundane was confusing to me. They wouldn't feel old if I called them Mrs. Soandso, right? Wouldn't a married woman correct me if I called her, Miss Soandso? That is assuming that I enunciated clearly enough to distinguish the difference.
Now that I'm in my thirties, I am getting a better idea of the point, but from the other side of the fence. Ma'am is starting to feel patronizing, especially from a younger person, but Miss seems like transparent flattery, and it is murky waters with the marriage rules. Some women in their early thirties are not married and never have been, so "miss."
But honestly, I think that the problem is less with the terms and more about confronting aging. Thirty isn't old, but I never thought that I would get to it so quickly. And that college-aged clerk calling me ma'am who can tell that I am not 21 anymore is more damaging than the term she uses.
When I worked in a grocery store, part of being a cashier was being polite to customers. Mostly this was the easiest part of the job, but the question of which term, "miss" or "ma'am", would come up almost daily. Some women would laugh and say that being called "ma'am" makes them look around for their mother or even worse, feel that they are too old for shopping without a walker.
Of course, I didn't mean to call them old, but in my head the rule was simple--"Miss" means an unmarried woman and "ma'am" is a married one. It corresponds to the titles, Miss and Mrs. That they would take offense to something so simple and mundane was confusing to me. They wouldn't feel old if I called them Mrs. Soandso, right? Wouldn't a married woman correct me if I called her, Miss Soandso? That is assuming that I enunciated clearly enough to distinguish the difference.
Now that I'm in my thirties, I am getting a better idea of the point, but from the other side of the fence. Ma'am is starting to feel patronizing, especially from a younger person, but Miss seems like transparent flattery, and it is murky waters with the marriage rules. Some women in their early thirties are not married and never have been, so "miss."
But honestly, I think that the problem is less with the terms and more about confronting aging. Thirty isn't old, but I never thought that I would get to it so quickly. And that college-aged clerk calling me ma'am who can tell that I am not 21 anymore is more damaging than the term she uses.
Monday, March 10, 2008
Fairness
A few weeks ago, my family and I spent time down on my husband's family farm, a place that my children enjoy, but to my two-year-old son, T, it is the mecca of everything he loves--tools, trucks and keys. The added benefit of livestock (cows and chickens) is icing on the cake. While the adults were sitting around the kitchen table, T collected all the old keys he could find just in the room, a pile of more than a dozen. He was also monitoring the toys trucks and wielding the occasional hammer thump. My kid is quite a character, which usually attracts attention, but he is also outgoing, so if he doesn't attract the attention with his antics, he will chat up anyone, including strangers. Clearly I am a proud parent. After I made a joke about my son's interests, my sister in law, Mary, asked about our older daughter, E. What about her interests and quirks? What about funny stories about E? E is 15 months older than T, but a different personality. I wasn't able to answer. The qualities that E has are less defined and seem somehow less remarkable . She is loving and sweet; tender and thoughtful. She thinks of other people first, but likes to be right (I likely contributed this trait.) E is smart and loves to read. With her friends, she likes to play girly activities like dressing up, playing princess, and Barbies, but on her own, she adopts pet slugs and hunts bugs and worms. She enjoys people, but can be shy at first, though she always introduces herself with her entire eight syllable name--first middle and last. She makes an effort to include the kids standing along on the edges of play, but not because of my instruction, but an innate sense of inclusion. Her dominant characteristics are less quirky than her brother. They are less easily summed up in an humorous anecdote to be shared with friends. Everyone has stories of how thoughtful and kind their children are. To remark on these qualities seems as mundane as discussing the weather or mentioning that your child has all four limbs. Of course your child is kind, it would only be of interest if he were not kind then it would not be something to joke about. My inability to answer Mary's question has plagued me. Since I couldn't demonstrate an equal devotion to my loving daughter, it seems as though I favor my son, which I don't believe I do. I have been feeling guilty that a better mother would have had an equal response for each child and that lacking one, I have let down my daughter.
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